nothing me, you without

you always say that im nothing without you...
you always make me feel that im no importance to you...
you claimed though that you have given your all for me...
yet you never realized things tangible is what you just handed...

understanding i compelled to instill in my mind...
conditioned it in your favor...
for so long i was a mute...
no voice, no brains and no dicernment...

was a machine...
nod is all what it has to do...
been numbed...
now can feel no more...

come time that the flowers have to bloom...
leaves have to fall...
seeds to spout...
and emotions that have to be burst out...

its not my fault that you were hurt...
its not my fault that you did cry...
its not my fault that you have had sufferings...
its not my fault that i was born...

but you cursted me...
of being the root of evils in your world...
you carry me up so high to show you can...
and made me an object of your revenge...

you succeeded, you won...
opponent were left behind and you lead...
are you happy?
are you satisfied?

despite of everything, you remain uncontended...
trying to push me for more...
never uttered a word due to respect...
have forgotten even that is due to mine...

i have lived in a world so lifeless...
but i complained none for i was tender...
now i have come to aged...
still you want to control of me...

when will you let go of me?
when will you realize i have life?
when will you think of my likes?
when will you consider of my desires?

im human,
with heart, mind and soul,
but turned out to be numbed,
you made me one.

now im into pains too
but you are not here to understand the way i did,
have to bear the cuts alone,
alone, alone and alone.

you dont know what ive been through now,
because you never ask of my life,
you know nothing but yours,
and so i have no choice.

im so weak,
trying to project im not,
i smile indeed,
but im hurting inside.

im a clown,
could make others happy,
never myself,
never myself!

ah,....I am nothing...indeed!
this is me....
an appellant...
for what?
for things i never had
as you never allowed.

truly, im nothing, without you!