deeply hurting

a name perhaps is one (if not the most) of the basic identification that a person can have. we know each other thru our respective names and oftentimes, we even have our quick judgments of how do we actually and really know someone just by hearing his or her name. save in cases of course if the person is stranger to us, yet reality sometimes would even say that, its the other way around; the reason why we have the so called thing, "first impression."

everytime someone would call us with our names, we are being alarmed because we know that somebody else is referring to us. that's basic reaction. someone calls for your name, you outrightly answer.

name comes into many forms. pen name, nickname, endearment callings, among others. all of which however just mean one and the same thing--- it is how we call someone as we identify them to be as such.

our names indeed is something that we own. one thing we can safely say that it is ours and preciously taken care of because it speaks of us. some even go to the point of suing another for bresmiching their names or for casting some dishonor.

what is my point of having all of these things? what is has to do with the thing inside me now? has somebody cast dishonor in my name? or has there someone else took my name that i should be concerned of?

actually none. good enough, i have unique name and nobody so far has ever claimed that we have the same name. i cannot please everybody and so, i cant help if somebody else out there has been casting some dishonor with my name. i really dont mind though because, i know to myself, i am doing no wrong to anybody else.

whats my point then?

simple. its not just too easy to hear someone else calling you by the name of another when youre in front of him in flesh. its too painful for one to hear somebody else name when you know for a fact that it was you he is actually referring. many may laugh of me for having such feeling but with all honesty, i was indeed hurt when i was called by a name not mine as i do my best to make a person so dear to make him happy. it was me doing the thing but he was actually calling for somebody else.

i dont know the reason behind but there are only two things possible....

first, he was thinking of that person;
second, he sees and believed me to be the other person because he always wanted that person to do the thing i was doing.

whatever it is,..... one thing is for sure,...... it torn my heart into pieces.

what have i done that you have never seen me to be me? what was wring that you have never thought of me everytime we're together? where did i go wrong? what else should i do for you to finally see that its me and not anybody else anymore?

i was hurt. so hurt and yes,..... i took it seriously.