i have friends way back college days who fell in love with each other despite of the fact that they have already their respective families. at first, i really cant understand how were they able to manage the relationship but as time passed by, i found out that, theirs actually is something that is founded with love... and it is not just an ordinary love mind you, but a selfless love, i must say.
many of our classmates used to criticize the affair. i was even tagged as their conspirator,... i didnt mind because they were not just friends to me, they were my family and given the chance to choose the friends i wanted to be with, they would probably in my list.
i was not really aware how did their relationship started. all i knew is the fact that they had initial problems with their respective partner. they separated and then, they fell in love with each other. some say they are immoral. at the second thought though, i say that they are just being themselves and there is nothing wrong with that. perhaps, the immorality issue came because, they were both married but not many people knew, the marital bond is already useless and actually has been broken when they finally admitted that they have to have the aminity attached with romance. well, at least that is my belief and that is what i know. if it turned out to be the other way around, i have my own pieces of evidence to defend my point still. in short, to me, they were not doing anything wrong. people asked me but i would always answer, its their lives and i have no right to question how would they want to run it. and its true..... my conviction when it comes to that thing stand still until this very moment.
what is amazing the way i see things before is the fact that, both of them has their own kids and one would help the other solve problems when it comes to parenting. honestly, i admire them for being such good parents to their kids. despite the fact that they were basically single parents, i was a living witness of how do they sacrificed just to give their kids' welfare..... that includes staying away from each other and setting aside their feelings with the belief that, their time has not yet arrived. and that their children might not yet accept the fact that they would want to built a family together. high hopes, they have though, for that right time to come.
i always asked before whether it would be possible for each of them to love and treat the children of another to be their own flesh? they would always answer me, nothing is impossible with love. kinda funny. i didnt even mind at all but i just cant help but to think of it now. well,..... perhaps there is truth in what they say... i dont know but it seems to be true.
just this afternoon i had the opportunity to meet a kid dear to the man i love. barrowing his lines, "he is my life, my only wealth" and indeed, as i witnessed, the statement was right. yeah, the kid was the son . i dont know what went to my mind that i opened up the idea of spending the afternoon with them. of course i knew about the fact and probably i wanted to test myself what would i feel when i am finally in front of that reality.
at first, it was kinda awkward situation. i noticed they get along well and i felt that somehow, i dont have any space in the picture. i dont know how will i feel. i know i dont have any right to compete with the attention.... besides, it was me who suggested the idea, i cant blame him, right? i thought it'll be alright... little did i know,.... and i must admit it, i knew to myself there is this sort of jealousy in my heart.
as i see them walk together, held each others hands and left me behind due to excitement, i felt that they're happy with each others company. they were a picture of a perfect bliss and at some point i felt that they dont even need me to be with them. i tried to composed myself so that i would not spoil their being together. i tried to cover the hurt inside and did my best to coup up with the situation.until finally, were all enjoying. i enjoyed being with them, thats one thing for sure. i felt that i had a family of my own. i had a lot of confusing feelings though.
at the end of the day, i just cant help but to recall how was i able to handle the situation. i tried to review the confusing feelings i had when were together. sad to say, it was jealousy still. sigh,... i envy the kid not because he got more attention more than i had, but i was jealous of the fact that i never did experienced such kind.
and then i the ultimate question puffed up, can i accept it? am i ready for it? you know what, only now that i realized the answer i used to get from my friends when i had the chance to asked them the same question. indeed, they were right when they said, love can move mountains. it has just moved mine.
