it must be love

the day was quite windy and i have to indulge myself into work for me to get away from the feeling of being alone after you left. i must admit, days begun so long since you've been gone and i dont know why? had stick in my head though that i should not get affected at all for it might just ruin my life...that i will not allow.

was deeply worrying how will i gonna make myself busy when all of a sudden, i recieved a message coming from you. initially, i didnt mind...not because i didnt care but because somehow i would like to test myself whether i can stand not answering you. another message.. then..a ring. god! i just cant ignore not to answer your "hello.." suddenly, the many days of missing since you've been gone totally vanished. and i had that smile in my face once more which i could not even explain what muscle of my system might have just cause that sweet smile in my lips. indeed, for a while i thought i was in heaven again and needless to say, just by your voice, you have transformed my sadness into a jolly one.

then i wonder, what was with you that makes me happy? what was it that just by your voice alone, you make my day completely colorful? are you some kind of a magician? or youre just one hell of a part of my system that without you, it cannot entirely work? i wonder what was with you that i long so much?

i wanted to say youre a poison for you paralyse the entirety of me with you not being there...i wanted to say youre one hell of a demon who keeps on tempting and makes me eventually a sinner. you're not my man....not my dream... not my illusion... but totally captivated my heart. you're really are you. and no matter how much i deny it, the truth will always remain, though, it may be hurting...that you're already a part of me.

now im ready to confess....it must be love..... it is really love!

friends

just when you knew, you have lost everything, some good things really happened still with a touch of joy which will lift your heart out from the dark shadows of yesterday. friends indeed are angels and heaven's present to us.

the day you said goodbye..

"so, this is it, i have to go. thank you for everything..."

he held my hand, embraced me and then he went. god! its too painful and I could feel how that situation squeezed my heart. for a while, i felt that my world will collapse. i wanted to cry but i simply cant because i know, he would not want me to be in blue. until the last moment of our togetherness, i made it a point that i will follow the things he would want me to do. thats how much i love him....

i hope someday,i'll see him again. embrace him once more and togther we'll share the good moments we shared. he is not just a friend. more than a brother. better than a lover and will forever be a part of my life. perhaps, i may have been a fool to love him this much for i know, the many uncertainties along the way but i think of it no more now. what is important i guess is that, we tried to be ourselves... feel the love we both have and accept the fact that we cant live in hyprocracy the entire time.

i would want to say, we'll be together again but i would not want to expect. i know, everything comes with a purpose and i would want to believe that this day of saying goodbye is a matter of testing how far can we go. i know we can make it and we will surely will.