Thursday, December 28, 2006

vision to thyself


some weeks ago, i read an article in a news paper. it was actually simple yet worth reading. why?----- because it spells the truth about the issue on conass as a mode of chacha intertwind with faith.

I was captivated by its title....sounds like a title of a song.... intriguing. I must admit, my interest sparked from its title.

observations on how does the society react with the "see saw" attitude of our political leaders as well as how the different sectors of the community make way of their views; thiese i begun to think.

the youth.------ young, idealistic. aggressive. they make use of the streets in expressing their opinions. they exercise their constitutional rights (naks!). sure, its a healthy way of exercising democracy. its becoming free, right? one thing that annoys me though is, they shout for reforms, hated corruption, march on the streets protesting for ALL governmental acts, as if, they know everything; and that the government have done nothing good for them. they tend not only to be idealistic but totally blind of the reality that the people running the government are the very people they voted. they cry for democracy, yet, they too oftentimes abuse it. dont know whether the forgetting was natural or intentionally. when i see them over the television, i think of no word but "perfectionist!"

the media.----- truth. balancer. informer. when i was younger, i always dreamed of becoming a journalist. not because i wanted to write but because i believed that i can make a difference through writing. i even consider the media as a separate branch of the state. because i thought (and which should be the case) that they are the middle men for and between the three (3) branches of the government. unfortunately though, some media men of today have also forgotten this role. they have been riding into the political juggle, instead of mitigating the chaotic effect, they aggravate the turmoil between the parties. they criticize. sure, its a good thing. but the way i see the news of the media nowadays, i cant help but to think of a single term ..................."bias!"

the military.------- brave. courageous. law abiding. they were trained to defend the state and to be the protector of the people. they live by their allegiance to the government and they offer their lives in ex change for liberty. surprisingly, the papers dictate that these men and women from the military are also forgetting the role that they should be playing. they now form part of the yoke of the government because of these coup attemps and other acts of going over the very institution who made them. when i see them, the first word that comes into my mind is........ "betrayal!"

the church.----- holy. moral. spiritual. this is the institution where people go when everything gets wrong. in times to calamity, people call for the all the saints; in times of adversities, people call for all the angels; in times of sickness, people call the clergies for annointment. they say prayers are very powerful. people go to church, hear mass. petitioning for a lot of things. holy right? but holy as it may, the church has its own way to politics too. how? it make use of the institution in telling to the people on how should they react and how would they believe regarding some issues of the community. i heard blames. left and right. against the government we have now. funny but sometimes, i see the church equated to "mendiola." the street where protestants march and make their views heard. sad thing though, is the fact that sometimes the holy scriptures are being utilized to preach political option. my question is, -----is this proper?

well, everybody has itheir views on all matters. however, i believe that the respective intituions we are into must always be the startng point of everything.


you simply have no business to go in the streets and cry for the supremacy of law when you know yourslef to be law breaker.

you simply dont have the right to stage coupt'de tat, crave for the government to be loyal to you when you yourself has no alliegance to the state.

you dont have the right to critisize by informing the public of the corrupt government officials when you yourself is a conspirator, either directly or indirectly benefiting from them.

you dont have the right to call for holiness and morality when behind that white attire is unpure and immoral body and you know yourself that you have betrayed your vow.

i dont know if many would agree with me when i say that in all institutions, there is the so called politicizing. you gain some, you win some, you threw the blame and pretend to be clean to the many. my point is, in all the sectors of the society now, i say that no one is left pure. everybody is unclean and that means NO EXEMPTION!

being unclean in never bad. its never an err and its never unusual. its good to know one's right, indeed. its okay to campign to upheld the law. besides, thats the ideal way. yet, in doing so, we should try at least to reflect unto ourselves whether our principles in life would go hand in hand with that of the things we are fighting for. we should at least try to post a question unto ourselves whether we shall be credible with the rights we are crying for.


this is simple. its being natural; admission of being a human; taking an oversight unto thy self before to our neighbor and the use of consicence as an ingredient to the menu we are about to prepare.

its seeing the deeper us. the true us and the main objective of us as justified with our deeds. because the gauge of how can we influence others as to the things we crave will be on how we have lived our lives.

may it be in politics and current issues , i say, that reforms should be viewed first on one's eyes for you to see the eyes of anothers and tell them what could be wrong for the blurred vision.

nothing me, you without



you always say that im nothing without you...
you always make me feel that im no importance to you...
you claimed though that you have given your all for me...
yet you never realized things tangible is what you just handed...

understanding i compelled to instill in my mind...
conditioned it in your favor...
for so long i was a mute...
no voice, no brains and no dicernment...

was a machine...
nod is all what it has to do...
been numbed...
now can feel no more...

come time that the flowers have to bloom...
leaves have to fall...
seeds to spout...
and emotions that have to be burst out...

its not my fault that you were hurt...
its not my fault that you did cry...
its not my fault that you have had sufferings...
its not my fault that i was born...

but you cursted me...
of being the root of evils in your world...
you carry me up so high to show you can...
and made me an object of your revenge...

you succeeded, you won...
opponent were left behind and you lead...
are you happy?
are you satisfied?

despite of everything, you remain uncontended...
trying to push me for more...
never uttered a word due to respect...
have forgotten even that is due to mine...

i have lived in a world so lifeless...
but i complained none for i was tender...
now i have come to aged...
still you want to control of me...

when will you let go of me?
when will you realize i have life?
when will you think of my likes?
when will you consider of my desires?

im human,
with heart, mind and soul,
but turned out to be numbed,
you made me one.

now im into pains too
but you are not here to understand the way i did,
have to bear the cuts alone,
alone, alone and alone.

you dont know what ive been through now,
because you never ask of my life,
you know nothing but yours,
and so i have no choice.

im so weak,
trying to project im not,
i smile indeed,
but im hurting inside.

im a clown,
could make others happy,
never myself,
never myself!

ah,....I am nothing...indeed!
this is me....
an appellant...
for what?
for things i never had
as you never allowed.

truly, im nothing, without you!

the option


literal or liberal?
the letter or the spirit?
the provision or the ultimate purpose?
legal syllogism or substantial justice?
in isolation or inthe context of social conditions?
harshly against or gently in favor of a person's obvious choice?

I say, it would be far better to err in favor of one's happiness
than to be right in complex but unrealistic and little understood legalisms!
For rules are sometimes unfounded;
Designed to protect not the noun but the sentence;
A deceitful way of educating;
And a shame to the populance of the group!

fatally untitled!

reveal your personality;
and youll see yourself true;
naught of hipocracy;
deal with reality at once;
you know its true;
vying for lies still cant accept it;
annoys the spirit and mind;
lone, that you want the world to see;
destiny dictates;
illussions in your mind;
zeal you adore;
over the heart desires;
numbed you have learned;
you wish you can;
apparently it shows;
no illusions this time;
comely you thought;
hate emerging slowly;
even if it cuts the other;
truly its intentional;
and you will just have to do it!

Monday, December 11, 2006

testing, fooling & crying is "US"



its been exactly twenty five days, nine hours and twenty one minutes since the last time that two hearts were like, lets just say, "tied" with each other. they used to be sweet, very sweet, and though they were indeed two in number, they were regarded as one , beating the same rhythm.... we both agreed.....

it was for unknown reason that suddenly, the two hearts separated. it was painful and i thought the cut would be unending. did cry..... asked and wondered..... yet no answers were availing.

two hearts let time passed, hoping it'll be for the better. no questions, no answers and no comments whatsoever. no explanations, no apologies. no everything. simple ordinary day, so we thought. time will heal the wounds..... the heavens will bear the cuts,.... we believed....

indeed, two hearts tried to be casual.. of understanding the underlying uncertain reason for the changes.... great change. tried to forget the rhythm that they once beat and tried to erase all the good things shared. we thought everything is okay. so we thought......

until, two hearts tested whether they could manage to go face to face again. as if nothing happened. and nothing will matter already. come the day we went out together again , after all the rhythm, cuts and reality of rejections..... we hoped we can do it..... we'll do it.....

sure, two hearts made it. talked and saw each other as if nothing happened really. very casual. the way they used to (?) wondering was gone.... wanting for clarity and explanations faded away. we succeeded....... we made it (?).......

yet, two hearts can never fool themselves. your eyes still speaks of wanting and the touch still calls for caress. my words still means affection and the gesture still long for flame we used to share.... we have tested the waters...... yet we failed....

no matter how two hearts try to deny... no matter how two hearts try to hide.... the truth hurts still..... we still feel the way we used to. only that we're both dreamin' now.... we now claim that we are no humans.... that we are machines..... numbed and totally hardened by time..... we used to be for real but reality has ended.... now.... we chose to live in fantasy (or a reality?)...... that two hearts can never be one!


we tested the waters,..... initially, we won... so we thought...... we tested it again after the rainy days..... we erred this time! ..... for all we knew, we were the champion.... but in the end.... i know, you know and we both know, we both are losers! because we can never be who we want to be with each other!

holy angels crying on the rain.... petitioning for forgiveness from the heavens yet refused to follow the way he wanted us to walk through.

two hearts tested fooling and ended up crying!